When Gratitude Feels Hard: Coping with Exhaustion and Stress During the Holidays

For some people, the holiday season is a time to slow down and connect. But for others, it can bring a mix of gratitude and exhaustion, with pressure to appear cheerful, disrupted routines, travel fatigue, and emotional triggers from complicated family dynamics. Emotional and physical strain can quietly build up in ways that affect both mental and physical wellbeing.

Why Holiday Stress Can Feel Overwhelming

Between travel, social expectations, and disrupted sleep, the winter holidays often pulls us out of the rhythms that keep our bodies and minds balanced. Research shows that even small changes in sleep timing, light exposure, or meal patterns can heighten stress sensitivity and fatigue. You might notice:

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep in a different sleep environment or after travel

• Feeling “on edge” or irritable despite wanting to enjoy time with others

• Appetite changes or increased cravings from irregular eating

• Emotional triggers tied to family interactions or memories

• Feelings of grief and loneliness, especially for those missing loved ones or navigating complicated family relationships.

The Link Between Stress, Sleep, and Emotional Regulation

Sleep and emotional balance are tightly connected. When you’re sleep-deprived, your brain’s emotion centers become overly active, and the regions that are in charge of emotion regulation work less efficiently. This means even small stressors can feel magnified.

The cycle looks like this:

• Stress and anticipation before the holidays → disrupted sleep

• Poor sleep and fatigue → greater emotional reactivity

• Heightened emotion → more stress and rumination

Breaking this loop often starts with simple but consistent behavioral changes, such as stabilizing sleep, setting realistic expectations, and practicing gentle self-care skills.

Practical Ways to Have a Gentle Holiday Season

1. Keep a consistent sleep schedule

Even when traveling, try to wake up and go to bed at roughly the same time each day. If you can, get morning sunlight within the first hour of waking, which helps to set your circadian rhythm (which is particularly important when traveling across timezones and dealing with jet lag) and boosts alertness during the day.

2. Plan and eat meals and snacks regularly throughout the day

Similarly, maintaining a regular eating schedule prevents excessive hunger and/or mood swings (or being “hangry”), which can be triggers for overeating or binge eating. When other aspects of your routine become unpredictable during the holidays, regular eating can help regulate your appetite and mood and serve as an anchor amidst the chaos.

3. Get some gentle movement in your body each day

Physical activity, ranging from gentle movement such as stretching or yoga to more vigorous activities like walking or jogging, can help regulate mood, reduce stress, and improve sleep quality. The goal isn’t to burn the calories from the food you eat during the holidays (perhaps a post for another day), but to give your body and mind a chance to release tension and restore energy.

4. Be mindful of caffeine and alcohol intake

Both can disturb mood and sleep stability. If you tend to struggle with sleep, aim to have your last dose of caffeine by early afternoon and avoid drinking alcohol within 3-4 hours of bedtime.

5. Let go of “shoulds” in your self-talk

Holiday perfectionism (“I should feel grateful,” “I should be more social”) adds pressure to an already hectic season. Check in with yourself first on whether these goals are truly consistent with your values, or if they are others’ expectations or norms. If they are indeed aligned with your own values, reframing to “I’d prefer” or “I’d like” helps shift rigid expectations into compassionate flexibility.

6. Anchor gratitude in reality

Instead of forcing big feelings of thanks, shift your attention onto small, concrete experiences: a warm drink, a kind gesture, or a moment of calm. These smaller pockets of joy and gratitude likely feel more authentic and sustainable.

If the Holidays Bring Up More Than Stress

Sometimes, holiday stress is more than seasonal, it can stir deeper patterns of anxiety, insomnia, trauma memories, or disordered eating patterns. Therapy can help you understand and calm these reactions so that rest and connection feel possible again.

As a psychologist in San Diego specializing in sleep, trauma, and disordered eating, I help people rebuild balance in their mind and body through evidence-based, compassionate care. If you’d like support heading into the holidays, click below to schedule a consultation or learn more about how therapy can help you feel grounded and rested.